Monday, March 24, 2014

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I've been thinking a lot about change that has occurred in my life. During my senior year of high school I was scared to death what I was going to do next. I knew I would go to some sort of school but that was only because that was what everyone else was doing. So I applied for scholarships like crazy because I didn't have any money saved. I ended up with two scholarships to UVU. So I moved out and all that jazz. I really didn't know who I was or what my purpose was on this planet. I had a really hard time breaking out of my shell and making new friends. I didn't really like Orem mainly because everyone was super Mormon and always told me to go to church activities. I was really annoyed because at this time I didn't think I needed religion. I ended up hanging out with my old friends in Tooele almost every weekend because I didn't know what else to do with Jake as my only friend in Orem when we constantly worked different schedules. I felt alone all the time and couldn't wait for the weekends to come. I ended up not liking myself and just felt stuck in this place of unhappiness. 

My roommate Cassidy was really awesome and I just saw something really cool in her that I didn't have. She was always happy! I swear that girl was always smiling. She started preparing for a mission and I just knew that was what was so different between her and I. I knew I didn't have the testimony that she had. I wasn't living the way that I needed to live to be happy. I was ready to change I wanted to be happy. I just decided I would quit with all the nonsense. I started to talk to my bishop about serving a mission because I was prompted to serve. It was so strange because I wasn't really in tune with the spirit. But Heavenly Father reached out to me anyways for me to change and become a missionary. Thinking about this now just makes me so grateful for the love that Heavenly Father has for me. I wasn't doing what I was supposed to but he still reached out to me. I know he loves each of us and sometimes we don't recognize it. I didn't recognize myself as a daughter of god and I was miserable with myself. I just constantly was worried about my inadequacies and not the person that I could become.

Today I was looking back at old pictures and when I saw pictures of the old me I just knew that I had changed. All I cared about was what the world thought of me, not what heavenly father thought of me. I wanted everyone to think I was this really cool, laid back, and funny girl. But inside I never felt those things. I was scared of everything and what everyone thought. Now today I can say that I know I am his, a daughter of a king. I know that I can work hard everyday to become more like my savior and that my work is never through. I know that I'm here on this earth to learn, grow and love. My mission gave me this knowledge and my testimony is growing everyday. I'm so much more confident in myself and who I can become. I know I say this a lot lately but I seriously can't wait to get back out there and kill it! You are all children of god and I love you!!! :)

The church is true lil homies! 
Sister Sierra Brooks

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