Friday, November 8, 2013

Remember who you are and what you stand for...

I've kind of been struggling with sleep and started to realize maybe it's not my phones fault that I have insomnia. haha. But I did sleep pretty well last night compared to the other night. The spirit is seriously so draining it's crazy here you feel the spirit throughout the day like every minute every hour. I really love it here! I'm so happy that I'm on a mission the Lord truly knows what is best for us and I'm so glad that he guided me here! The time here move so slow it feels like every day here equals a week on the outside. But it's also sort of a good thing because my knowledge of the gospel is kind of moving at the same time as it actually feels if that makes any sense. I feel like I know so much more already! On our first day it was kind of crazy walking through those doors I felt a happiness that I have never felt before. My face literally hurt from smiling by the end of the first day. Just so much comfort in the smiling faces of the other Elders and Sisters that I saw. We gathered in this room with what felt like a million other missionaries all from different places in the world. I felt the spirit so strong in that meeting just seeing all these other children of God who wanted to bring others unto Christ. That night we got to teach some investigators and that was a little scary although it was in a large group it's still intimidating to know what to say. It's also really strange to feel so much for love for a person you don't even know. You just want them to feel the love of their heavenly father so badly!
I really am so thankful that you raised me in the church because it really has guided me. I know that the lord loves each of us and has a plan for all of us. I really want challenge you guys to study your scriptures with a question in your heart and just take your time. If you seek the lord will help you to know so ask of him! Study your scriptures share the love that you have for others on a daily basis! What I have also learned is that we can't compare ourselves to others which is the hardest thing for me to do and I'm beginning to realize I'm a lot more like you mom in being a perfectionist in my work. I'm grateful for this but at the same time it is really hard to push through that and just being okay that some things can't go perfectly. It's really strange because I never realized that I truly am a perfectionist haha. I mean you have seen my room so you understand but it's just hard with people like not knowing exactly what to say in the moment you are teaching. I really struggled early today when we were role playing because I really felt the spirit and I just couldn't get the words out of my mouth that I wanted to say. I talked to my teacher Sister Smith about how I was feeling because it was really frustrating to me and she kind of laughed at me and told me she can see how much love I have for people and told me that she was a lot like me in the field. I felt a lot of comfort knowing that I'm not the only person to feel this way. haha. I'm sure you guys are somewhat weirded out by this email because I feel like I'm a different person already if that makes any sense?
My district here is so amazing! It is crazy how we feel like one big family already and we are all going to the same mission! So there are more sisters in our district than Elders which I find really awesome because I've never had Sisters before! I blame them for making more emotional than I already am haha. We have six sisters and four Elders who are all really awesome people. I really am kind of struggling with my companion in the MTC I love her and I feel the love she has for others but she kind of treats the gospel as a science and thats really hard for me to learn that way. I just keep telling her that the only way our investigators can feel God's love is through the spirit so we need to teach by the spirit. We can't be the teachers we are only the tools and I really don't know how to explain that to someone except for saying that. I know that Heavenly Father put us together for a reason though and I really want to help her. She actually has a twin brother which is super crazy! I really hope to learn how to understand people more and be able to make them feel loved. We have our first lesson with our investigator tomorrow and who is actually our teacher role playing but it's crazy how real it feels. He doesn't feel like our teacher he actually feels like the investigator. I'm a little bit nervous! So hopefully it goes over well.
It's really insane how I can feel so much change in my life already. My prayers are longer, my spirit is stronger and my love for others is growing. I miss you guys though it still hasn't hit me hard though haha. I'm waiting for that to come! The food here is insane like seriously we eat so much good food haha. I fasted yesterday and it was really hard because I was sitting in the cafeteria which is basically a buffet! But it was worth it because I got the answer to my prayers that I needed! I did drink the orange juice today but I'm fine so far haha. You should see the way they Elders eat it's basically a bunch of Dallon's and Bradley's running around haha. I can see why they get sick from the orange juice haha. The Elders in my district seriously eat like 10 different meals each meal. Kind of nasty. I sleep on a bunk bed so that is kind of weird and something I've never done before on the first night I slept for like 2 hours and I was ridiculously tired but I just had thoughts running through my head all night! I really hope that all is well at home! I love all of you so much! Remember who you are and what you stand for! haha.
Love, Sister Brooks

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